Sharing with a friend: behavioural patterns keep us trapped in the old.
In the night I had a very unusual dream. And when I woke up in the morning I couldn’t remember anything about it, except that it was unusual. And I had you, and now I’m talking to a very close friend who’s here. And that’s who I’m addressing now. I’m talking to my friend.
So I have this information come through for you, which I have had but it didn’t feel like sharing. It just wasn’t ripe or something, although I have been trying to say it indirectly for the past two weeks. So this information came through for you.
First, you are a very unusual person, very unusual. You were born unusual. Using new-age terms you’re a very advanced soul. And my theory is you didn’t need to come here. You chose to come here to be available for the shift that is happening on the planet now. And not only were you born an unusual person, you have developed yourself unusually. And, whatever you have discovered about yourself or reality or consciousness, you’ve been available to share. And you are sharing.
And what comes to mind about that for me is the parable that Jesus told about the master who was going away. And he said to his head servant, “Here’s ten talents of silver. Do with it what you want but I shall want the ten back when I come.” His second servant he gave five, and his third servant he gave one.
When he came back he said to the first servant, “What have you done with the ten talents of silver?” And he said, “I invested it and it’s now twenty talents, so I am going to give you twenty talents.” And the master said, “No, you keep the twenty talents and all the lands to the north are yours.” To the second person they said, “I’ve increased the five talents to ten talents, so I can give you ten talents.” And he said, “No, you keep the ten talents and all the land to the south is yours.” To the third servant, the servant said, “I knew you’d be angry at me if I lost it, so I buried it. And here it is, your one talent back.” So the master took the talent and said, something like, “You’ve been lazy,” or something like that, took the talent and sent him away. And then he said, (this is the most significant thing) “Unto those that have, much will be given. Unto those that have not, even that which they have will be taken away.”
We need to develop and we need to give back. We need to. It’s part of life. And you do that. Where I see you are stuck is, you feel good, which is great. But the trouble with feeling good, when you are not in, let’s say, the ultimate state, is you tend to be stuck where you are. Because there is no motivation to move beyond. But still you’re not fulfilled. And your lack of fulfillment is, as I hear you say, you can’t find anybody to share with at the depth at which you’re living. There is no stimulation for you with people because people aren’t at your level. You don’t say it that way. This is my interpretation. And that’s right.
So you’re looking for somebody and the somebody is within you. The person you’re looking for is you. And when you contact that place on the inside, you don’t need anybody. It doesn’t mean to say, you stop feeling like being with people or you don’t enjoy people. But what happens is you do love people for who they are, but usually their behavior is not so much fun.
When you drop to this particular place inside, you don’t need people. Thou art that. The kingdom of God is within. The Tao. The hidden harmony. You click to it. And then we can’t really describe what goes on then because we could say you find yourself. But the self you find is a no self. So you can’t describe it in terms of opposites. Just something happens, and you’re home. You don’t need anybody, or anything. You don’t even need to eat or drink.
You have gone beyond just being physical. You’re still physical, but you’ve gone beyond that now. And you recognize the physical for what it is. Which is still you, but it is a part of you, and not your primary self. And that’s what I see with what we hear from Babaji in the Himalayas. He’s gone beyond that as well. He’s gone beyond the physical to such a point he doesn’t have to stay in the physical. And he can be in the physical if he wants. He can manifest a physical again, to be in, to talk to people who are at appropriate level to talk to his level of consciousness.
So what I see with you is this, and they identify it in the East. They say it’s a dangerous stage. People stay there for eons because you are happy, but there’s still an unhappiness there, but it’s not strong enough to really move you on.
When I meet (anybody actually, but especially extraordinary) people, what goes on (I don’t tune in anymore but it still goes on with extraordinary people) it is, “Oh, here is this extraordinary person and they are not living their extraordinary-nivity, their extraordinariness.” They are not living it, totally. How come? One thing, as I have mentioned, is because they are at such a stage they feel so good; there is no strong motivation. But the other thing is they are still trapped in their behavior, their behavioral patterns. And they’re actually very thin, but they’re trapped in there. So then I say to myself, “This is an extraordinary person. How come they’re not seeing their behavioral patterns, being aware, and letting them go?” And then it’s different with each person. But the basis is unless you die and be reborn.
So we are identified with what we call ourself, which is actually just behavioral patterns. And we think if we die to our behavioral patterns, if we don’t have anything there, automatically, we’re gonna die. Now, what’s strong in that for you is that you’ve already had the experience of the possibility of dying physically. My theory is you won’t die physically unless it’s your time. You won’t. You can’t. Even if you are in a plane accident, you might be the only one that’s saved. But you can’t die until it’s time for you to die. You can try committing suicide and it won’t work. So you can’t die if it is not your time.
And, in a way, on some level, we are all being invited to die to ourselves as we are in this moment, to detach totally from the past. The past is still there, our memories of the behavior is there. But that’s not us. The same is if your mother shows you a picture of you at six months old on the rug, you can’t identify with that. That’s not you. You can’t possibly say, “That’s me!” There’s nothing about that little baby that says, “That’s me.” It’s gone. Well, when you’re ready to let go of who you think you are and your behavioral patterns, you’ll have the same about you five minutes ago, let alone a year ago. You’re gone! You’re gone. Again, you’re gone.
So what you do, is when you talk, you have such (ah, overused word) significant things to say. Because you’ve had so many experiences that very few people have had. But your experiences are real. You’ve been there. You’ve been in the Oneness. You’ve been the One. You know that. And when you share, you share through your old pattern.
Over and over you screw up your eyes when you say something. You do a voice, you do a pattern. You do something over and over and over. And that’s not you. That’s not this magnificent being that’s there, who’s been there, and come back, and can share it, and does share it. But when you share it in this automatic way you slot it into this cliché. And it doesn’t connect because you don’t slow down and be there and look at this person and be with them. And then come back and let this flow out of you, the way it wants to float out. Whatever voice, whatever facial expression, whatever body posture, but it takes you over. Not the way your automatic behavior takes you over. But suddenly you are connected to the source. It’s as though you have an umbilical cord connected to the source. It sends down un-deciphered information, your brain sorts it out according to the person you’re talking to. And from the source, through the deciphering, out comes this energy that uses words as a carrier wave.
But the words are secondary. You’re in the zone. You are life. You are existence because you have recognized your behavioral pattern. And you’re not going to support it. You’re not going to give it that facial expression or that tone of voice.
So something more mundane, why would you do that? Well, on some level, you are not living who you really are. So you’re still trying to get approval or avoid disapproval. You’re still trying to do something to be in with the crowd, to be accepted. And you can’t do that. In your state you cannot be accepted because there’s hardly anybody in your state. Not that people are not in that state, everybody is that state. That’s what that state is. But they’re not living it. And not only they’re not living it, they don’t know what it is. You know what it is. You’ve been there. But you’re still trying to connect on the superficial level in a superficial way, in an automatic way. So what’s behind that? You don’t want to be alone. And until you’re ready to be alone, you’ll be locked up in your behavior, trying to behave to get approval.
Forty days and forty nights in the wilderness, the dark night of the soul. Everybody has to go through that. It might be (snaps his fingers) like that. Or it might be forty lifetimes. But everybody has to go to that stage: total utter aloneness. And it doesn’t matter how much Oneness you’ve been in that state. Not only are you not connected to the superficial, you’re not connected to the Oneness, either. You have let this go and this has not yet manifest into an every moment experience.
Aloneness. Now that doesn’t meant to say, because you gotta say, “Okay, I’m going to go to rent a cave and be there all on my own.” No, no, no, no. There’s that wonderful story about the sage that went and lived in a cave for umpteen years. Whenever people came, the vibrations were magnificent. And one day they came to him and they said, “We’re having a special celebration in the village and we would really love you to come, just for this once.” So he gets up, comes to the village. And it’s really crowded and somebody shoves him by mistake, and suddenly anger. And he realizes: you can’t do it up there; you’ve gotta do it here.
You’ve got to be alone in the crowd. You’ve got to realize that, this impossible thing: I am the crowd and I am alone. And I am alone. I am utterly unique. And it’s being with this aloneness, and in the crowd, and in life. The phrase is “being in the world and not of it.” But of course you are of it. Everybody’s of it. There is only one. But there are different levels, different phases, different dimensions of this oneness. And to be free, we have to embrace both but support…I come back to the same place over and over, don’t I? Be here now, unconditionally, in each moment.
Right, we were talking about that yesterday. When you’re on a substance, your life is exactly the same. Nothing’s changed. You still got bills to pay and a car to fix, jobs to do, teeth to clean. Everything’s the same and you feel absolutely wonderful. But not only do you feel wonderful you love everybody and everything. You’re in this state.
But here’s the thing. When you get up to go and get yourself a drink, you do it…very…slowly. You’re aware of the foot going to the ground. You’re aware of standing up. And somewhere you know you were going to make a cup of tea, but that isn’t your primary awareness in each moment. You’re stepping. You’re putting your weight on this foot and then that foot. And then you get to the cup and, “Ah, just look at this cup!” You’re with the cup and the tea is still secondary. And then you turn the kettle on. “What a wonderful noise! Just listen to all those sounds bubbling and changing, slowly.” You’re there in…each…moment. And you feel fantastic. You can live like that. But you’ve got to slow down.
That’s stillness that’s still moving. Yes, you’re going to make tea, but you’re not discounting you, in this moment, as you are, moving towards making the tea. You’re there, you’re there, you’re there. And if an automatic expression comes on your face, “Ah, automatic expression! That’s not me. It’ll go. Oh, I just spoke in that voice. That was my mother’s voice. That’s not me. That voice will melt away. Oh, that thought! Ah, that’s right, that’s not mine. I don’t know where I got that from! That’s not my thought. It’ll melt away.”
But you have to be here, in each moment. And to start with that takes a lot of effort. Eventually, no effort at all. It all happens on its own. You’re aware of the movement of your hands, you are aware every time you blink. When you’re not aware, you think, “Oh, that’s a lot of work. I am aware every time I blink.” But it’s no effort once you’re there. You hear everything at the same time. You can hear the cricket, you can hear the creek, you can hear that little twittering bird. You can hear everything at the same time. You’re not focused on it, but it’s all there. Everything is always there, all the time. And that includes any automatic behavior.
You’re there, you watch it. You don’t do anything. You don’t change it. You don’t judge it. You don’t suppress it. Ah, there’s that behavior again! Little smile. Then you come back to the moment. And it is as though you’re on a substance. Life becomes ecstasy. And sometimes you lose it, go on overload. But now it’s your primary. This is your devoted occupation: being aware in each moment.
Now with you, as I say, you’re exceptional. Not only do you have vast treasures from this lifetime. Because you’ve done so many things, so many places, met so many people and you have all this. But, my guess is, and of course I don’t know this, but my guess is, still locked up in you is the wisdom of the ages, that’s what came through, the wisdom of the ages and it’s waiting to come through you. It’s waiting to take over. But if it was to come now, (claps his hands) it would hit bang into that structure you’ve got of your behavior. It could kill you! It will be so strong if it all came. So it won’t come. It can’t come until you’ve prepared the ground.
Again I was thinking of Jesus’ parable, “preparing the ground.” It is until you have done that work, this new level can’t come through. It would kill you. If the Kundalini, as they call it, shoots up through you and you’ve got too many impediments, it’ll damage you. So what is your impediment? It is so little. It’s just being…here…now. And sometimes, you might get totally lost for it. You don’t know what to say. You don’t know how to say it. You look foolish in front of people. Until you’re ready to be a fool…you know, some slightly crazy people are in a more elevated space than we are. Because there’s a…
Some people with dementia are so delightful. They’re such wonderful people. Because they’ve forgotten that moment, they’ve forgotten that moment, they’ve forgotten that moment. And they’re just…here…now. And they make a fool of themselves over and over and over, but they don’t know that, so they’re sweet, they’re like a child. “When you become as a little child.” When you’re ready to be a fool. Now, they don’t know it. Because with Alzheimer’s they keep forgetting what they’ve asked. But the state is something like that. The state is something like: you’re not holding on to anything. You’re not holding on to your image, what people think or don’t think. You’re ready to be you even when it is silly. In fact, it is better to be silly.
Now, on some DVDs and on the web and some documentaries, you see people are in a very evolved state, very evolved state. And they’re very stuck, ’cause they’re very serious. The state is not serious. All you’ve got to do is look at a giraffe. I mean, look what existence did there. Look at some of the animals. How, in a way, how ridiculous they are, in a way, and how wonderful in another way. Existence has a great sense of humor. And you know that. And you’ve got a sense of humor. And still you’ve been trying to behave, to get approval. Not to look stupid. Just be stupid! Just be silly! Just let it all go! And you’ll be free. You’re not trying to avoid anything. You’re not trying to be afraid of anything. That’s stupid, and dying. Let them both go. It doesn’t make–you’re gonna die. You’re gonna be stupid. We all are. So just be more aware of it. And stop trying to be how you think you ought to be, or approval.
So if something stupid comes to say, don’t stop it. Just watch it as it comes out. And (breathes out heavily) it’s like having a colonic. Suddenly, all that stuff’s gone, gone, and you’re free. As free as you’re meant to be.