The mind is threatened by freedom.
It wants us to be safe, secure and predictable.
The Alan Watts talk I sent out the other day to IML was unusual in how candid he spoke. He was just out there with everything. And this is unusual, with very few exceptions.
Most teachers, gurus, people who are sharing, avoid speaking about one thing. And I don’t really know an accurate way of labelling that thing, but it’s about living totally, freely, unconditionally. And if they do talk about that, they don’t talk about relationships. And there’s this elephant in the room, sacred cow, obvious thing, that – “don’t lets talk about freedom in relationship,” ’cause it’s not popular.”
Now, what is assumed when we mention that is that people say “Oh, no – don’t threaten my relationship.” But it’s not about relationships! It’s much bigger than that.
You see, if you notice, the majority of people are either in a relationship, or they’re looking for one. Whether it’s same sex, opposite sex, whatever, they want a relationship. Now, this is more than just being with someone. There are several things about that. One is, of course, not wanting to be alone because being alone means feeling lonely. Now, exactly, what does feeling lonely mean? What it means is, you are not being diverted. And from what are you not being diverted? You. Just as you are. Living with that mind, on your own. No diversion, no escape, no arguments. You’re with yourself.
But that’s only one aspect of the situation. The main aspect is this: what we call relationship – which is perfectly natural, of course, in one way; our natural instinct is to come together to reproduce, although, at a deeper level it’s not to stay in a particular relationship, it’s to keep moving so that we keep finding somebody whose at their maximum potential, to produce the maximum potential – but the main thing is we’re all heading towards that. If you take that away, you’re not just taking away a relationship. You’re taking away the whole foundation that life, as we’ve been given it, is built on. Everything is scattered. Now there is no safety, no security, no predictability because, instead of being committed “until death us do part,” now we’re living freely, unconditionally, moment to moment. And for the mind that is designed to keep you safe and secure and predictable that’s very threatening. So the mind blocks that out. Literally! It blocks it. It has a mechanism that blocks anything that’s too threatening, and you don’t hear it. Or, if you do hear it, you hear it in a distorted way that suits the mind.
So, when you take away that foundation, it leaves you … here … now … just as you are. And this is called: reality. That is what life is about – it’s about here, now, just as it is. You’re attracted to somebody, you’re attracted to somebody. You are no longer attracted to your partner, you’re no longer attracted to your partner. This is how it is. Just because you’re not attracted doesn’t mean to say you don’t stay together, but now you’re seeing things clearly. The curtain has been opened, and you’re seeing how things really are.
Now, as I’ve talked about before, it’s not just about sharing your truth with another. The main thing is: are you sharing your truth with yourself? I’ll tell you. You’re not. You wouldn’t dare! You wouldn’t dare to look at your life objectively and say: “is this the way I want my life to be?” We compromise. All the time. We make conditions in our life, all the time. Which doesn’t matter! Nothing matters. The only thing is – you pay for it!
Every thing you do has an equal and opposite reaction. So, when you’re not living your absolute truth (just to put it in a particular way) you pay for it. In the East they call it “karma,” but we needn’t be that fancy. We can just say: when you don’t live your truth, there is a consequence. And we’re not talking about truth … next week, next year. We’re talking about your truth, now.
All the people that have a certain vision keep saying the same thing. “there is … only … now.” That’s all there is! The rest is your mind spinning the past, and projecting it into the future. There is … only … now. Here.
And … most people, most of the time, are not here. They’re thinking of the past, projecting it into the future, hiding, juggling, ’cause it’s really scary, on one level, to be here, now – now, listen, this is the word – unconditionally! No conditions!
If you see documentaries on famous, self-made people, you’ll keep finding, over and over, they make unexpected decisions in their lives. They’re spontaneous. “I’ll do that! I’ll go there! I’ll meet this person,” and their lives un-fold. You see – as we keep saying, as everybody keeps saying that’s reached a certain stage – we have no idea who we are. We have no idea what’s really going on, although science is starting to get glimpses that everything is a frequency, everything is a vibration. And not only that – it’s radiating. And if we detach from the rigidity of the mind – and of course beyond the obvious things of religion, and teachings, and ideas – just here, now, unconditionally, we start to tingle in a totally different way. And not only that. You no longer have to ever, ever, have to make a decision. Decisions make you. It’s really like, let’s say, being psychic, that … when a true psychic gives you a reading, it’s not them giving the reading, it’s the reading coming through them, and they are giving sound, meaning, to deliver to you, but it comes through them. Now, when you are unconditional, you’re ready to live life just as it is. Life will live through you. You won’t have to make a decision again – decisions make you.
Now, you may think I’m talking about should you change your partnership, should you change your job, should you change you car… no. I include those things, but what I’m talking about is every … single … moment. Every single moment. “Should I put the cup there, or there?” But you don’t decide it. It flows through you. You are there, with the cup. You don’t put it down automatically. You don’t do anything automatically any more. Are you hungry? “Well, it’s lunchtime!” Yes, it’s lunch time … are you hungry? “Well, yes, I’m hungry, I’ll have….” No. Stop. What do you really, really need to eat? Not your habit. Not your addiction. Not your automatic decision. But you are there, feeling and sensing, in … every … moment! I was going to say you no longer do anything automatically, but in another way – it’s not “automatic” but it does you. You are so … open … unfixed … that you flow with the flowingness. You are – I was going to say “part of everything,” – you are everything, you are everything, we’re all everything.
And then for a little while, just for a little while, life seems like magic. Just like magic. But it’s not magic – that’s the way it is! And when we allow ourselves to let go of those things we’ve been holding on to, to feel safe and secure and predictable – we disconnect, we stop holding them – everything that is no longer appropriate will drift away. Painlessly. And everything that is appropriate for you will come to you – all on its own! You won’t have to do anything! It’s just making yourself available, by not holding onto the old, in any way at all.
There is another level, and I know when I mention this level, and use these words, the mind goes to another place. But it’s coming up more and more lately, so I’m just going to say it, and don’t try and understand it, or agree or disagree, just float along with what I’m saying as though the wind’s blowing through the trees. Not only are you loved, you are love! That’s all there is. Not the love we talk about in relationships, but something much bigger. Vast, vast. And it includes. And then, you’ll start to feel yourself differently. Relating not only to everybody, but everything. It’s as though you love everything.
And then that indescribable state, “the peace that passeth all understanding.” Feeling full-filled. But those are words, and the words don’t describe this state. As I keep saying, spend some time each day just sitting, letting the mind wander on, do what it wants to do, and you be open. And you see, the more you allow yourself to be unconditional, the more what you need for your maximum potential will drift into your life. It’ll come gently as a whisper. You think you’ve just had a little thought, or somebody mentions a word, or you find a book, or you see a programme, but you stay open, and you’ll see it’s unfolding all on it’s own, and you don’t have to do anything. Because – let’s use that word – we are blessed, that’s all there is, is blessing. I know that’s a big step, ’specially if you’re struggling at the moment, so that’s why I suggest – sit, be quiet, and at the least allow this possibility: not only are you loved … you are love. That’s all there is.
As they say in the town where I spent my youth, “Tara-a-bit our kid!”