Not easy is it. The statistics are daunting.
It does happen – and, according to reports, not very often.
The only exception seems to be true unselfish love. Rare.
It goes like this.
We are all unique – all seven billion of us –
and in order to be happy, each uniqueness
(For ‘uniqueness’ you could substitute the word ‘neurosis.’)
needs/wants things to be the way they want/need them to be.
So in order for the uniqueness of one person to be satisfied
it needs the other to behave the way it suits their uniqueness.
(For ‘uniqueness’ you can substitute ’the neurotic mind’.)
Seems a possible solution, but trouble is, it doesn’t usually work.
Because, the one person not only wants the other person
to be the way they want them to be, they want the other person
to want to be the way they want them. (Hope you followed that.)
Let’s make it a bit more clear.
If one person wants to go the movies,
and the other person wants to stay at home and watch TV,
it is not sufficient for the one that wants to stay at home to go to the
movies, the other person wants them to want to go to the movies
as much as they do.
So in theory at least, everyone wants everyone else
to do what they want them to do. (And be happy about it.)
Which works out that everyone wants everyone else
to be the same as they are. Which does not make sense –
because most people do not like themselves!
Another issue. Unless you are totally happy on your own,
and meet someone who is totally happy to be on their own,
there’re going to be conflicts. Because – each is attempting
to get the other person to fill in gaps in themselves. So both at are
trying to get the other to be the way they want them to be – to fill
As you may have gathered – not to be taken seriously – because,
it is hopeless! Until we are all disconnected from the torments of
the mind the majority will live in conflict.
Deep happiness cannot be sourced on the outside –
it starts at least, as a deep inner state.
So if you are looking for things to be the way you want them to be
before you can be happy – not much hope.
So how about – experimenting – being with what it is!