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There is Something Else.
There is a state beyond what we can understand.
Transcript:
I don’t really have a way of describing what’s going on for me. I can’t even tell myself about it. I think it may have been gradual for a while, and then it seemed like a sudden something happened, and everything changed. And I don’t really know what’s … is. I … I only know what isn’t, in a way, what is no longer seems appropriate.
So it seems as though there’s been a shift … in the experience of what we call reality which doesn’t seem very real anymore. How I experience it is, when I walk it’s as though the ground is very thin, there’s nothing underneath it. It’s a … just a … thin thing I’m walking on, and it’s not very substantial. So ah … so now I’m walking carefully everywhere.
And it feels as though, whatever I look at is there and isn’t there … simultaneously. And then I’ve tried to break that down, so to get some understanding, because my old job seem to be: get somewhere and share it. And I’m not sharing so very much now because not many people can connect with what I’m saying. So I’ll divert a moment. And that’s because words are dual. Any word you use has it’s … an opposite that’s the only way that the brain works. And this doesn’t have an opposite.
So, if I say love, for instance, it’s not love as we’ve known it, that it has an opposite. It doesn’t have an opposite. It just … is. So, the … the outside world doesn’t look really real, and it does. And sometimes when I look at it, it’s seems to go into a mandala. It seems to go round, and then it starts to shimmer, and becomes transparent. And then it looks as though it’s about to disappear, and then [snaps his fingers] I’m back again. And it’s fixed … and there it is. But it seems to go to an edge, and I go there, wondering, “Oh, are we going to go there next time?”
So what I call the, whatever it is, I call it the ‘something else’ cause it feels as though all the time there’s something else. Yes, there’s this, and something else. And the something else … hovers, the same with my body. My body definitely has a reality, and he has aches and pains. And I don’t seem to live in my body anymore. As though this isn’t me. It’s not not me, but it’s not me. But then saying, “I don’t live in my body.” I don’t live outside my body either. So, I’m not in or out. So then I say, “So, where am I?” and I don’t know.
So nothing seems to be very real, same with time. Time seems very strange. I can do something in the morning and then remember, “Oh, that’s right! I cut the grass. Now when was that?” And it was though it was last week. And then sometimes time is very short and sometimes it’s very long, but it doesn’t seem to have any stability. It’s not fixed.
And it’s the same with space and travel. Often, I feel as though when I’m driving, I’m not travelling. It’s as though reality is going passed me, and I’m not going anywhere.
Now for the fun of it, not so much about sharing, for the fun of it I go, “So what’s that? What’s actually happening?” And then of course in the old fashioned way I say, “Oh well, maybe the brain’s disintegrating, and seeing everything strange.” But then I go to reference points. We know amazing psychics, amazing, that come up with things that have absolutely no rational explanation. And then, there are people that are having these near death experiences that are not explainable … by our present science, and people that have Satoris.
And then, what I’ve looked for is references. So, have we had references to this? And we have. We’ve had in the past from the East. It’s all been documented. And in a way, Jesus has said it more clearly than anybody ’cause he’s been closer to our language in the … in the West. So, when looked at what Jesus says, under these circumstances it makes sense. “There will be time no more. Take no thought of the tomorrow, let tomorrow take thought of itself. Unless, you leave your father, mother ….”
Unless you leave this idea of what you think is reality, you won’t have a realization of…, and then I don’t know what the ‘of’ is. I look to mainly Lao Tzu ’cause he’s the guy that’s clearest to me from way back, Lao Tzu. So, I say to myself, “Come on, you can clear this up. Just get your mind to it and sort it out.” And then, when I get there, I can’t sort it out. I can’t say it, because it doesn’t have form. It doesn’t have a description. And then I remember Lao Tzu saying, “The truth cannot be said, if it’s said, it’s not the truth.”
And then, I come back to … but everything is so uncertain for me. The ground is uncertain, time is uncertain, reality. Lao Tzu says, “Everyone is so certain and I walk as though upon thin ice.” And so I do appear to myself, just assuming I’m not going bonkers, I seem to be living … in a different reality from what most people realize is reality.
And now, we’re getting confirmation from science. Even popular science now on television. There’s a program just now, “Do you see what I see?” And now they’re … they’re stating categorically – as science often [laughing] does and then changes its mind later on – but says, “There is no color out there. There is a frequency, a vibration. It comes through our eyes, and our brain then gives it color, and it gives sound.” And some are on the edge, to saying, “And it gives shape.”
And then I remember a long time ago, a Japanese man in his laboratory produced a box, an empty box with frequencies in there. And if you put your hand in there, you felt an orange. He put the frequency of an orange, and you could feel the orange, and there’s no orange in there. And that’s a confirmation for me, that yes, there’s something else that we’re not seeing. We’re not getting it. And psychics can tune into that. I can’t tune into that. I get things … about frequencies, especially about people, but I don’t know what I get. I just know what it isn’t. And I can see very clearly what it isn’t. And I don’t know what it is. And maybe it’s not possible until … while you’re in a body, and I don’t know that.
One other thing that comes with all of this which is really there … really all of the time, I don’t seem to have any time away from this now is, almost no motivation, almost. I don’t really want to get up out of my chair. I don’t even want to reach to get anything. It’s as though something just wants to… it’s not actually sit, it’s recline, recline. It doesn’t want to lie, it doesn’t want to sit. It wants to recline. So, that the weight of the body is as even as possible all through. And then it just wants to be there, but it doesn’t want to do nothing. It doesn’t want to do nothing.
One other thing to mention … feeling things, my mind never stops or if it does, I don’t know until I come back. But most of the time my mind is chuntering about this and that. And it does bring up significant things, practical things and also things to share, and it’s as though they are highlighted. I can see those very differently, and then the rest is past and possible future.
And what goes with that is an absolute awareness, that it is the mind. Something watches very clearly, that’s mine, and doesn’t get involved in any way. With that comes what we could call, I don’t know, emotions, feelings, sensations … come sensations of, [breathes in deeply] “Oh dear, I’ve got to fix the water pump.” It’s not a joy. It’s “Oh dear, I’ve got to go down there, and get wet and get the spanners out.” and things like that. And it doesn’t really want to do that.
And there’s a separation from that. It’s real. I don’t want to do it. And there’s a watching that it doesn’t want to do it, a detachment from it. And there’s a detachment … from everything, everything. There’s a detachment. And so there can be these, “Oh dear, I have to do that. Oh, isn’t that wonderful that’s fixed.” There’s that, and there’s a detachment to it at the same time.
Then there’s another dimension to this. I’m aware of passing through stages of how I’ve experienced people. At one time, when I was in a session, I felt as though I was the person. I was actually inside them. I could feel everything they were feeling. I was them with my clarity. And then, I could come back out and share that. [pause] And in that there was a feeling of something which I won’t go into.
What is there now is…. We’ll go through the stages. On one level, there is … very thin now, very … I can’t believe this person is being so silly, so stupid. I can’t believe that they’re smoking, when it’s so clear the damage that smoking does to the body and to the health. And I can’t believe that this person’s still doing it, but there’s no judgement.
There is an understanding there, as well. There’s no judgement. And the things that politicians do, and the big companies and so all the…. There just are terrible things that are going on, and there is no judgement. Is, “Yes, that’s the way it is.” And then over all there’s this feeling, “And that’s exactly the way it’s meant to be.”
Everything is always perfect. I can’t explain that, but it’s as though all the pieces of the jigsaw fit together. This person has to experience that, so that this person experiences that, so that, so that, so that. Everything fits together.
And the feeling that everybody is getting exactly what they need in that moment. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s what they need or not, it’s what they’re getting [laughing]. And that’s what they need to be with, because that’s what’s happening for all of us.
So, there’s a feeling of this something else, that the … Heraclites calls it ‘the hidden harmony’ that does feel like a harmony! And then, what’s come out of that, and I don’t remember when it got so strong is – and again the word isn’t quite right but – incredible love for people, and being deeply touched by them, and what many of them are having to go through. And in a way, it’s their own choice. I think everything is our own choice in one way and in another way not. It’s how we came in. What we came in with, the circumstances we came in, our conditioning, that’s one way. And yes … in theory we could get free, but in fact it doesn’t work that way.
And so a feeling for people and…, but then it goes further than that. And then it gets very vague, and it gets vague to…, it’s that thing again, when I try to blink my eye and get it, it’s gone, but there isn’t anybody else. There isn’t anybody else. And of course there is. You sit there and I sit here, but there’s a sense, no … no. And then again no words …there … is … only … one. That’s what there is.
Now, I tried to look at that. So there’s only one, and then Buddha says, “Out of the whole comes the whole, and the whole remains.” Whole! That … I almost get that. I can almost get it, but I can’t get it. It’s just not quite there that there isn’t another. And then it’s not right to say this is part of me, or I am part of the whole ’cause there’s no parts. On one level there’s no parts, and on another level there is. And it’s not a dichotomy … because nothing is actually dual. Everything is one, and we’re just not … comprehending it as such.
So that’s mainly … I think, a description of some of what goes on for me, from moment to moment is, “Oh, it’s like that.”
Oh, and one other thing, that I was talking to Kira about, and she was saying exactly the same thing. And the words are simple but there’s a great depth to it. Nothing is more or less important than anything else. Every single thing whether you reach for your glass, or whether you’re giving a deep session with somebody, there’s no difference. There’s no difference. Everything is total in itself. Everything is significant in itself.
And then one more thing that a … came up with Kira and I, then I was surprised to hear it from her, is – and it doesn’t make sense but I share it – there is … powerful feeling of order, and the order is also chaos. Chaos is also order. And then practically in my life, it is as though I am creating a work of art every moment; where the glass stands … where the chair is … how I put anything down … how I say things … how I leave something. As though something just goes click and it’s just right. Right, that’s exactly the place.
And again, the mind says, “Well, that… you can just be being … What is it? compulsive or…. But now….” And then when Kira said it, and she said it almost in my words is, “That’s right there’s an order. There’s something. The things line up, all part of the harmony.” And if the person misses that moment … it backs up. It doesn’t go away. Everything backs up. You don’t avoid anything. Everything has to be dealt with. It isn’t that it has to be dealt with in detail. So if you’ve had a … an unpleasant childhood, you don’t have to go through all the details, and this and that and that. No, you can see it, get it [snaps his fingers], it’s gone. It’s not to do with time.
So there’s this order. There’s this sense. There’s this presence … and then…. that when I say ‘presence’, it’s … it’s beyond human, but it’s not beyond human. It’s… I don’t … I don’t know what it is. And I think that’s why the guys from the East have called it something that doesn’t … ‘the Dao’, ‘the hidden harmony’. Jesus said ‘the kingdom of God’, ‘the peace that passeth all understanding’. There is no actual description for this … sense of something.
And then what I was seeing on a more mundane level is, people don’t know that. We haven’t been told that at school. We’ve been given so much nonsense at school, and we haven’t been told about life, and living, and integrity, and honesty, and not being competitive … that we are all one … We are one family!
Just as we all lived at one time in one village, and everybody took care of everybody else, because that’s the way the village operated, and everything stayed in harmony. The planet is one village … and we’re not taking care of each other. And then when I say that, and that’s part of it as well. And I don’t see major change happening, until there’s some shift in consciousness. Some click of consciousness. We’re some … and some people have got it.
On television you see people that are working, and giving food to people, and clothes to people and taking care of old people and things. And they’re like, they’re not there as a separateness. And if you say, “You’re doing a wonderful job.” they look embarrassed, as though “I’m not doing anything. I’m….” But there’re not saying, “Isn’t that a great thing? I’m not doing anything.” It is as though there’re out of their own way. And they’re just responding when somebody’s … in need, there’s a response, and they can’t … not … do it. They can’t not do it, because it … causes a tremor in there. It’s an unfinished thing.
And I think, we haven’t been told that at school, so people are leaving unfinished things all over the place, that haunt them [laughing] moment to moment. It’s … it’s … um, it pollutes even their beautiful times, because the things haven’t been taken care of.
And it comes down in a way … we need to be taking care of each other.