Sexual Desire, Relationship & Unconditional Love
One more thing you mention about your sexual desire diminishing much to the disappointment of your partner. My main thing to say to you about that is, congratulations.
Of course not so good for your partner, but for you … wonderful. This is what I’ve found, and it seems to be confirmed by people who’ve studied such things, especially in the East. When the sexual desire diminishes, either through consciousness or to some extent age, but maybe a combination of the two, there’s a release, a freedom.
And looking back, sex seems to be rather primitive, actually silly once it’s gone, and you look back. Of course, it doesn’t look like that at that time. But here’s one of the major things that comes out of that. When that drive has diminished, there is a finding that you’re seeing people differently, men and women. You’re starting to see them more directly, because there’s no desire or hope or disappointment in the way. You see them more as people, rather than someone to take care or not take care of your desires. Sound a bit clumsy, isn’t it?
What I’m trying to say is, when that sexual drive disappears, there’s this incredible feeling, sense of freedom,here, now, to see this person completely … or very completely just as they are. And for a little while, a gap, and then what takes the place is love and caring, ‘cause you’re seeing them and connecting with them more directly. Freedom, oh wonderful.
So, congratulation! And condolences to your partner, because obviously your partner hasn’t reached that stage, yet. But then, what often happens, not very often people get free, but when they do get free, instead of a partner saying, “Oh let’s keep our connection and I’ll look for this elsewhere.” It’s “No! I want you to be the way, I want you to be. And if you’re not, it means you don’t love me.”
And love’s got nothing to do with sex. Nothing, nothing to do with it. Love is way, way beyond sex. From what I hear, it does seem to be happening a little bit more now, that people are in what is termed “open relationships,” and starting to recognize that (laughs) monogamy is a sort of disease. It’s not natural. It’s not natural.
What is natural? Love.
Love: wherever, however, in each moment.