When the sense of self dissipates everything feels just right, perfect.
Life keeps flowing and with that comes a sense of blending and melting with everybody and everything.
You start to feel delightfully fulfilled, caring, loving, light, playful.
I do realize that this may sound a bit frustrating to you. I understand that. Sabine just said to me, “Do you feel like talking more about yourself?”
And I know that this may sound strange to you, but you see, there is a person talking to you now, but he doesn’t have a sense of self.
Now, I know to the mind that’s ridiculous, because there is a Paul and he’s talking and we could call that Paul ‘me’, but I don’t actually get the sense of ‘me’. And not only do I not get a sense of ‘me’, I don’t know how to describe not having a sense of ‘me’, because … here I am talking … but the ‘I’ doesn’t mean anything. In fact, to use the word ‘I’ is strange ’cause as soon as I say ‘I’, it’s a separation.
And at the same moment there’s, again there isn’t a word, a sense, a feeling, a sensation that there isn’t a separate ‘I’. There isn’t a separate ‘me’ from anybody or anything. And at the same time, of course there is, because I’m here saying this, and you’re there hearing this. And yet on another level, there’s no ‘me’ saying it. There’s no ‘you’ hearing it. There’s no ‘here’ where I’m saying it. And there’s no ‘there’ where you’re hearing it.
And I know that doesn’t make sense to the mind, and it doesn’t make sense to me either. I don’t understand it. And yet, I’ve got a sense, a sense of something. And when I say that, I sort of go still and in awe, incredible awe of… and I don’t know what. All I can do is say with my mind is, “It’s us. We are … that.” That’s right, “Thou art that.” We are that.
And then I’m going to say we’re all connected, but it’s not even connected, because connected means me here, you there. But on this other level which I don’t understand, so don’t try and understand it. I don’t understand it and neither do these people talking about it. They don’t understand it. It can’t be understood and yet, it can be – no words – sensed, felt, resonated with, a vastness that isn’t vast. It just … is … and we are that is-ness.
Where I’ve got to at the moment is, and I feel touched when I go to talk about it, there we’ve got an ‘I’ and a ‘me’. I feel touched about it, and that is an incredible sense of love. And it’s not the love that … I love you … it’s that we are love … we. And I’ m not just talking about people. I’m talking about every single creature and every single thing. That’s all there is, is love.
Now, my mind says, “That’s a barrier.” There is something beyond love, because I don’t know that. I just get a sense. And at the moment, I’m absolutely delighted to be … being with this sense of … love.
I’ll just talk about that again ’cause I’ve talked about this before. When I’d seen people suffering, I feel something. So then, we can say, “Who is this ‘I’? What’s this feeling? What are they feeling?” And if there is a feeling, there’s a sensation of caring. I’m often deeply touched by people in the floods and the refugees and … and simultaneously, simultaneously somewhere in me is, “And this is exactly what they need.” I don’t know that. I sense that. As though something is continually evolving. And then, I can ask my mind, “Well, what does that mean, evolving? If there’s no beginning and there’s no end. There’s no time.” I don’t know.
And I do have a sense of … we’re going through things we need to go through, but I can’t explain that even to myself that there is such a thing as Karma. Even although there’s no time and space, there is at the same time. And with that comes a sense of everything is perfect. Just ’cause we don’t recognize, it doesn’t mean to say, it’s not perfect. It’s perfect.
We’re all getting exactly what we need in every single moment. What usually happens is, we’re so busy in our mind, we’re not really here, we’re not recognizing what’s happening. We are looking at how we want things to be, or don’t want things to be. So we’re missing how they are. And how they are, is our maximum potential.
With this recognition, let’s call it a ‘recognition’, becomes the absolute, utter disappearance of fear as we know it. Now, the body may go through something. The sensations in there may go through something. But ultimately the ultimate fear, we’ll call it ‘of death’, is gone, gone.
When you hear somebody dies, even if it’s your best friend’s partner or child. There’s no sorrow in that. Except for the person that feels sorry. You feel for them. But the person that’s gone – wonderful! They’re into the next phase.
Now listen, I don’t know that. I just sense that in some way that death is not ominous, not at all. Death is a change of sensation-ness, a change of … the way we experience the oneness. I’ll say it again. I don’t know that, but it feels so strong. And as I interpret it, that is confirmed by the masters and the people that have reached this state, … but you can’t fake it.
So, how do we get there? [Laughs] Then we come to the…. You’ll see this with Tony and the others that you can’t get there, because there’s no way to get. We’re already there. I know it doesn’t make sense. It is this, here, now. There is only this. And that may not be our experience, that may not be your experience.
How do we get there? Well, it’s this thing I keep saying. This is the only way I know. It’s seems that people that have deep realizations all try to share the way they know.
But this has just flashed in. Many of the people that have what we call ‘woken up’, were not searching. They weren’t looking. They just … [snaps fingers] … now suddenly in that state … in that state. They’re always in that state. They suddenly realize the state. And again, there’s no realization.
It’s seems like Eckhart Tolle suddenly woke up. Byron Katie suddenly woke up. A friend that I was very close with, John Wren Lewis, he was not only not searching, he was a skeptic of the whole thing. He had a near death experience and woke up. And I would say, one of the deepest near death experiences I’ve ever heard about. He didn’t go through his dead relatives and this and that. He became one with what he called the ‘brilliant darkness’.
I’m not saying don’t look, but looking doesn’t do it, because when you’re looking…. Jesus said, “Knock. It will be opened. Seek and ye shall find.” I’m saying, “Oh dear! Who am I to say, ‘Don’t do that!'” Just be … here, now … because it’s here. It’s now. Thou art that … now.
So how come you’re not in that state? You can’t be here, now. You’re doing something. You’re thinking something, and you’re not aware of what you’re doing. You’re not aware of what you’re saying. You’re not aware of what you’re thinking. You’re lost in that mind whose job is to say, “Be careful! This happened in the past. That could happen in the future.” Looking for approval instead of … just … being … here … now … just as it is.
And what we will describe as, inaccurately, the next now and the next now … here … now. Do what you’re doing. Say what you’re saying. Be aware of your thoughts and don’t do anything. Don’t change them. Just let them be. Experiment, just a little time each day … to be here … now.