In this moment there are no problems, just facts.
If we resist the facts, we create our suffering.
When anybody used to come up to talk to me about what they considered a problem they’re having, I would first tune into them, and see if I could feel where they’re coming from, what is their reality, check it out with what I think is my reality, and then see what comes out of that.
And what used to happen was, it would first go to the bigger picture. This person does have a situation which in my perspective is not a problem. It’s a fact. There isn’t anything that can be called a problem. It’s a fact, and a problem is a fact that’s being resisted.
So I would go to what I call ‘the bigger picture’. And as I do that, it’ss as though I move away from the planet and look down at the planet. And see that most people – this is generalizing, I know – but most people, most of the time are in some sort of conflict in their life, either a minor one or a major one, but there’s conflict.
And when I look down at the planet, that’s what I see, conflict. I see countries fighting countries, religions fighting religions, and within religions them fighting themselves. And then we come to the government, and the local government. And then we come to the family, and then we come to the person. The person has a conflict inside.
So I look at where does this conflict come from? What I see is or I think I’m seeing is, we’re all given a matrix for life, this-is-what-life-is-supposed-to-be. And if it’s not like that, something’s wrong. But when I’m up off the planet looking, I’m seeing that almost everybody’s been given a different matrix. So we can say, the Moslem man says his wives have to be dressed like this, and they have to behave like this. And then, we go to America and there’s a different standard and so on, and so on. There’re all these different standards.
So the conflict is that life is not the way it’s supposed to be. Let’s say that again. The conflict is, “My life, in this moment, is not the way it’s supposed to be.” So let’s go to relationships which comes up so often. In fact, it’s one of the major things that comes up, “My relationship isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.” So then, I try to point out, “Well, how do you see it, that it’s supposed to be?”
So, if it’s a Christian person, of course, it’s very different from if it’s a Moslem person. They’ve both got totally different ideas of the way it’s supposed to be. So, what I try to point out is, is there a supposed to be? Is there a matrix, or are we making it up? And when I started this, I was going to go into the details, but the details have faded. It all comes back to – it must be boring to keep hearing this – is, there is … only … this … moment … the way it is … in this moment … this is it.
And if we’re here with what is, there isn’t what could be called a problem. There are facts. Absolutely! There are facts, and many of these facts need to be dealt with. They need to be taken care of.
So then, I look right in this moment. So how come most people are not taking care of the facts? It’s a lot of trouble. And what’s the trouble? Well, the trouble is, the person isn’t being honest with themselves. So their honesty might be, “I’m not happy in my job.” Though, how many people can that be said for. “I’m not happy in my job, or where I’m living, or my house, or my partner or, or, or … I’m not happy.” So then the person tries to build their lives around something that they’re not even being honest about. They’re not even sitting down and saying, “This isn’t working for me.”
The first step is, “This isn’t working for me.” The second step is, “What do I need to do about it?” And I think that’s where people get lost ’cause it’s too much trouble. It’s…. And not only is it too much trouble, but it doesn’t fit with the matrix. For instance, if you’re in conflict with your partner and it’s not working out, your matrix it says, “Well, you’ve just got to stay there.” And that might not be the way it is. It might be that the bigger matrix says, “Well, you need to look at this situation intelligently, and say, ‘What is the natural flow here? What needs to be done? What needs to be taken care of?'”
I’ve just got a flash then to take that to the extreme, and that’s people who stay in a relationship that is physically dangerous. And they stay there. Millions of people do that. They’re in physical danger and they stay there, because it’s more easy, it’s more convenient than the upset that needs to happen to put that right.
So, we’re coming back again to this moment. Don’t let’s see it as a problem, let’s see it as a fact. And when we look at it, see if we can look at it from where we’ve been told to look at it, and say, “Are these the facts? Until death us do part? Who told us that? Where do we get that from? I have to wear a burka. I have to be covered up. I’m not allowed to drive. I’m not allowed to have education. Where does that come from? Does that come from some universal intelligence, or have we been told that’s the way to be, because it’s convenient for someone.”
So if you find yourself in conflict, if you find you’ve got something you are calling ‘a problem’, it’s a good idea just to sit down – best if you’ve got somebody whose, let’s say, more clear than you, you can talk it over with – sit down and say, “Now, what is the actual situation here? What are the components?” And if you do that in this moment, listen … in this very moment … here you are, here and now. And what needs to happen, will unfold, if you stay with just … this moment … this moment … this moment.
And I’m talking about…, it’s almost like magic. When you do that, things just start to happen for you ’cause you’re there and listening and available. You can take this as a hypothesis. Experiment with it. Give it a try.