Without attempting to understand, consider this possibility:
The Source just is.
And you are The Source.
Buddha is quoted as saying:
“Out of the whole came the whole and the whole remained.”
At the Source there is no right or wrong, good or bad, benefit or harm, here or there, you or me.
Jesus is quoted as saying:
“When you see the up as the down, and the down as the up,
the in as the out, and the out as the in, a man as a woman
and a woman as a man – when thine eye be single, then will
they body be full of light.”
So as you see – it is not understandable, and, just as a hypothesis, consider:
You are the Source. “Thou art that.”
You have taken a form that appears to be separate from the Source, yet it is not separate.
You, the Essential Self and the Source are One.
The essential self is never disturbed, and never at peace; never unhappy and never happy. It has no personality, no character, no choices, and no preferences.
The essential self is empty, yet full – responding to each moment in honesty and presence.