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If you tune into another person deeply, you will also be able to tune into a new depth within yourself.
Whenever I go to share something, I wonder about what’s going to come through. When I get something to come though, it usually emerges in the night, and by the morning I don’t really remember all the details. In fact, nowadays, I don’t really have a memory. It’s almost as though things emerge in the moment and things that are not appropriate to this moment don’t emerge. So let’s see what emerges about communicating.
Over and over, people ask about how to get over what they have to say to another person. And often what I hear is: they say, “The other person doesn’t hear me, they don’t understand me.” So let’s take a look at that.
You see, most of us, most of the time, are so in-volved with ourselves, in-volved with ourselves, we don’t really see what’s out there. And what we think is out there is really a projection of what is in there. In a way, we are seeing ourselves out there. And we don’t really understand why people don’t see things the way we see them. Because on some level, we think the way we see them is the way they are, and the way everybody should see them.
And that’s one of the big things about wars and conflict, especially about religions and religions within religions. The conflict: “You should be seeing it the way I am seeing it, because the way I’m seeing it is the way it is.” So we keep bumping up against each other, literally, in wars, in our arguments.
So we’re not really happy unless the outside is the way we are on the inside. And what we don’t really understand is, the way we are on the inside has been put there by somebody else, actually in the womb. And when we come out, our parents, and our teachers, and our religious teachers, and the government, and our peers, and everybody is saying, “This is the way it is. This is the way you are supposed to be.” And that gets ingrained in the brain. And how we think things ought to be just depends on where we’re born and who we’re brought up with. And as I say, that’s the big conflict in religions.
Now, let’s get all this down to: in the moment with a-nother person. So, you want to communicate something to another person. Now, see if you can connect with this. I’ll say, this is the way I see it. I’ll just say it this once. And then I’ll carry on saying as though it’s the way it is. This is the way I see it.
Each one of us are so contained in our own world, when we meet somebody it’s two different universes meeting. Two different levels of reality, meeting. We’re so involved in ourselves. One person was saying, “I’ve seen so much, realized so much in my life, I want to share this with everybody.” Great. But you see, the other person may feel overwhelmed with your energy.
Let’s say you’re a scientist. You’ve just discovered something that will cure cancer. You meet your friend that has cancer and you jump all over them with this information. Now, each one of us has a mechanism inside. We built it up through childhood. We have been bombarded so often with how we should be and shouldn’t be. Whenever an energy comes to us and tells us how we should be, the brain shuts down. Now, it may not look as though the person is shut down. They may smile and say, “Yes, tell me.” But inside something else is going on, and that is: this person is trying to tell me how I should be, this person is trying to change me, I have had enough of that. Shut down.
So, when we meet someone and we have something to share here’s a suggestion. You’ve heard this before. Be aware, be here, be now, first with yourself. Be aware of what you’re about to say, the way you are about to say it. What’s going on in your mind, your expression, your body posture. Be aware, be aware. And take a deep breath. And then look at the other person. And that sounds obvious, doesn’t it, ‘cause your eyes are in that direction, anyway. No. I’m saying, look, look at them. Before you say anything, tune in to them, connect with them, feel them. And if you can, become them. See them. What we’re actually saying (but don’t bother with this at the moment), what we’re actually saying is: love them as they are. You can’t do that, but if you see them enough, clearly, you will find that there is at least a caring for them. As you do that, your frequency will change. And as it changes in you, it’ll change in the other person. They may not know it, but they’ll get something. And what will happen then is the brain will say, “Oh, we are not under attack.” And that part of the brain will relax. And they’ll become more available.
Now, you may say to yourself but now what am I going to say? You don’t have to think that. You see, once you’re relaxed and they’re relaxed, what’s needed to say will start to flow through you. And what will flow through you is something that will connect to the next layer of them. The next level of them. It’ll just connect. It’ll just come through you. You’ll hear yourself saying something. And actually sometimes you’ll be quite pleased with yourself. Because, you say, “Oh, that’s neat!”
But it came through you. You didn’t say it, you didn’t do it. It said you. It flowed through you. And as it connected with this second level, we’ll call it the second level in the person, you’ll find there is another shift in vibration. You may not notice it but you will see there is another level of relaxing. They become more available. They become more interested, presuming it’s appropriate for them. So now we connect with another level. And when we’ve started to connect, together, on that level, and the person is realizing, consciously or unconsciously, realizing that you are FOR them, you are caring for them and you do have something you want to share with them–whether it’s appropriate or not–you’re sharing it with them, which is a caring, which is a form of love, they are relaxed. Another level!
Now, if you keep doing this, not being self-centered–“I want to”–but allowing this to flow through you, flow through you, to this other person that isn’t quite so much another person now. You’ve got closer. It is almost as though the vibrations are dancing with each other. You go to the next level, and the next level. And if what you have to say is relevant for them, it will reach a level where they already know what you’re attempting to share with them. Because we all know everything.
And as you reach that level, with your frequency, with your vibration, with your caring, with your non-judgmental love, you will quicken that place in them. That level in them where they already know. You’ll vibrate it. You’ll tickle it. You’ll caress it. And with your, let’s say, unconditional love, which means your happiness is not dependent on whether they agree with you or not. Or get it or not. You are sharing as unconditionally as you know how. As you reach that place in them where they already know, and it quickens, it’s as though you have become one. And they start to see for themselves what you’re attempting to share with them. Because they have that in themselves but now instead of it coming from the outside, from an alien place, it’s emerging from the inside. And often there is a smile or an a-ha! or yes! because they see it for themselves. Because it is themselves. Now we’re communicating.
Ideally, one day, we’ll all be like that with each other. Not trying to change the person saying your religion is wrong or your version of the religion is wrong. But saying let’s communicate, let’s talk about it, let’s dance together with this idea.
The overall feeling is a softness, a gentleness, a being with the other person. You’re not taking a stand, a place, something fixed. You’re flowing with them. Or we could say, you’re loving them. And you will. If you tune in to another, to a certain depth, you will also tune into yourself, to another depth. And it feels very, very good.