Another person is a reflection of you.
This is motivated upon hearing somebody saying, “I’ve still got stuff with this person. I’m still not clear with this person.”
You see, in a way, there isn’t another person. What you’re not clear with is yourself – something that the other person has motivated in you, stirred up in you – and because you’re resisting it, you feel disturbed. And then, what you don’t realize, the mind is actually saying, “So I’ve got to sort out the other person. I’ve got to get them to see what they have done to me, to apologize, to change.”
And what that process is, is your mind has got disturbed. And it’s got disturbed because the outside did not fit the conditioning that your mind has been programmed with. So if something doesn’t fit your program, you feel upset until you change the outside to fit your program. The difficulty with that is, the other person’s trying to do exactly the same to you. They’re trying to get you to fit their programming.
So that’s what goes on in relationships, each person trying to get the other person the way that does not upset their neurosis. And what we’re not seeing is, the other person is irrelevant. They’re … the advantage of having them there is, they’ve stirred up something in you that you were trying to keep calm, you were trying to avoid, you were trying not to see – about yourself. And they’ve said something or done something and … disturbed something in you. So you’re trying to get them to be a different way so you don’t feel disturbed. It’s all about you.
And what I’m suggesting to you is, nobody is ever, ever justified for being angry at another person. The fact that you get angry – yes! yes, you get angry! you … have sensors in there that pick up things, that naturally get anger, it’s part of survival – but to feel justified? No. You’re not justified. You are upset because that person is showing you something about you you don’t want to see.
If we go to another level with that … eh, what I’m attempting to share is, you are not only … the center of your universe, you are the universe. Now, I know this is a jump. This is a jump because you can see all these things out there, can’t you? They’re all out there. And you know they’re out there because other people see them and they say, they’re out there. Not only that, a red object is a red object to you and it’s a red object to them as well.
What you don’t know is, they don’t see the same red as you. Not only that, there’s no red out there. Check it out on the web with the scientists, there’s no … color … out … side of you. You take a frequency and create the sensation of red inside you. You are creating the universe. And that’s the same with everything. With everything.
Here’s a story of how I came to see that. I was, Clare and I were in the, San Francisco during the flower time. Um … Haight and Ashbury, we lived just one block from Haight and Ashbury. We did all the groups that were going, we did everything that was going. We did LSD and psilocybin and … all those things. When we got back to England, we both said, “That’s finished. We’re finished with drugs now.”
And then I started reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead that said it’s how you die that creates your next life. The more clear you are when you die, the more choiceless you are, the more harmonious the next life. I thought that’s a very good thing. But how do you practice? ‘Cause you can only do it once, and then it’s too late if you’ve got it wrong.
And then I thought, “Well maybe on LSD.” So I took a really big dose of LSD, went to bed and I lay there in the dark with, “I want to leave here choiceless, so that I am reborn at the highest possible state.” So that was my question.
But what happened was in no time at all, I was getting geometric shapes, all sorts of shapes and sizes and every time I was in the middle of the … the geometric state, and I … “This isn’t what I asked for! This isn’t what I want! I want to know about dying and being reborn.” Slowly, slowly all the way through the night, I was in the middle of all these geometric states and then the state started to go, started to fade. Clare said, “Why don’t you go and sit in the sitting room, with your books and your Tibetan Book of the Dead and the Bible …” So I was sitting there and I got a glimpse of something but I didn’t know what it was.
So I thought, “I’ll go outside.” We lived on the edge of a park that was a hill, Primrose Hill. And the hill goes up to the top and then on the other side is London Zoo. As I was walking up the hill, I was having – you know the LSD thing – seeing that each blade of grass is a person, every single one is an individual and I was loving that. But I was still being haunted by the fact I didn’t get the answer to my question. Geometric shapes, and I was in the middle.
As I got to the top of the hill, the dawn chorus came from the zoo. The birds … the lions … the elephants … everybody was all making noise, and it was just as though they’d greeted me as I reached the top of the hill. And something went click. [snaps his fingers] “I … am … the center of the universe. I’m the center of the universe.” That’s what these geometric shapes were trying to show me, I’m the center of the universe. The mind says, “Well, how can you be the center of the universe when there’s billions of people around?” No, everybody’s the center of the universe! The mind says, “That’s impossible.”
But you see the mind only works in duality, this or that. And that’s an illusion. It’s not this or that. It’s this and that. Each … person … is the center of the universe.
You, you, listening to this, are the center of the universe. Just sit with that possibility and everything you see, you, in some way, are creating. If you don’t resist it, if you embrace it, if you’re grateful, you see it in a different state. It shines, it’s delight, it … uplifts you. If you resist it, if you fight it, if you complain, you contract and you feel bad. But you see, the whole thing is you! Not the outside. You see one thing and you complain about it ’cause it needs fixing. Somebody else sees it and says, “Oh, isn’t that wonderful!
So what’s the difference? Not the object! Each person is the difference, and it’s how … we … are … in ourselves. We … create … everything!
If you want that in more scientific terms, listen to that ten minutes I sent out of Bruce Lipton talking about it in a scientific way. He explains it very clearly. Each … person … is the center of the universe. So to be angry at anything is ridiculous! [laughing] Because it’s … it’s your anger and it’s you that’s being upset about the thing that you have created out there!
So look at it this way. Even if it doesn’t feel true to you, look at it this way. Everything out there is a gift, one way or another. If you look at your beloved … your friends … and you feel uplifted, you feel delight, you feel love, that’s a gift, isn’t it? Isn’t that wonderful?
But you see, if somebody says something that upsets you, that’s a gift as well. It’s helping you see the place in you you are not seeing clearly and you have not yet accepted and come to terms with. And what we could say with that – there are only gifts! [laughing] That’s all there are. Everything is a gift, and that includes you.
Next. Next stage.
If you’ve absorbed what’s just been said, the possibility is it reinforces you being self-centered. There is only you. And what I think I just expressed, just earlier, it’s not this and it’s not that. In one way, everything you experience is you. But there’s a lot of “you”s out there as well, all experiencing … the reality, in their own particular way. In an equal way. They have the right to experience reality their way.
When I am talking about “you are the center of the universe,” there’s no contraction in that. You get that and then expand, that when you look out you are including. And that means, when you see somebody out there, instead of contracting into “you” seeing “them,” let go of the “you,” let go of the contraction of “you.” Yes, what you’re seeing is you out there. And there’s another human being out there who is also being self-centered.
Expand, expand, expand. Include. See them, hear them, watch them, connect with them, keeping in mind that any perspective you have, may be colored by your conditioning, and let go any contraction around you. Take a deep breath and expand and include that this person is also the center of the universe. They’re also having unique experiences and the possibility is, with many, many people, that they might not be as aware as you. They might be more asleep than you are. So tune in to them. And what you’ll find is, when you tune in to somebody if you really see somebody, if you’re really with somebody, there is only love. That’s all there is. You can’t possibly judge them. You can’t possibly be against them
There’s a Sufi story about a disciple of a Sufi master and he started saying, “Ana al-Haqq,” I am God. And the Sufi master said, “People will misunderstand you. Don’t declare that. Just keep that quietly to yourself. That’s true, but keep it to yourself.” But he couldn’t. It was just so overwhelming, “I am God! I am God!” And, Muslims having this tendency, they started to stone him. They threw rocks at him. And he was laughing. He said, “God, you can’t fool me! You’re throwing the rocks and you are the rock! Everything is God.” [pause] He died … in bliss.